where am i from again
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
