Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
