There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
