he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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