No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
