I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
