My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
