The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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