like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
