Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
