Are we in a gay sports bar?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
