Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
