I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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