i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
