Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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