i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
