Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
