i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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