FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize