You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If I die, sorry about rent.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
