I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
