What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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