A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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