saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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