You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
