tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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