yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
