i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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