Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
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