I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
