Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
