i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
