So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
