What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You need a sexual gate keeper
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
