and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
