why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize