You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
