Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize