so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize