In the future we'll all be gay
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
