I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I touched a dick in church today
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
