No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize