he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
