alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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