He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
