i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
