Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
