hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
