just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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