it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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