Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
