i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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