they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
