I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
