That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
