I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
