Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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