she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
