i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
