I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
