who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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