I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
