Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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