so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
