No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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