u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
