I am in a vortex of obligation.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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