with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You need Xanax blowdarts
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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