When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
